OPINION | In 2,000 Characters Or Less… One Grade 12’s Reflection on University Applications

Photo Credit: GrantMe

If you were to open my Instagram “For You” page back in October 2022, it wouldn’t have taken very long to find numerous videos and posts about university applications. How to apply, how to stand out, what grades you need to get to receive an acceptance. This bombardment of messages about Advanced Placement courses, top percentiles, extra-curriculars, and admission averages grew and grew, until all I could think about was if I measured up to other applicants with 98 per cent averages and first-place in national science fairs, and whether I truly was going to be good enough to get into university. 

I stressed over every minor mark I received, fervently keeping track of my average and comparing myself to all my friends– which led to sleep loss, panic attacks, and breakdowns. All over the next four years of my life– four years that I had convinced myself were going to be the four that would make or break the rest of my life. But, as I come closer and closer to beginning those four years, I can’t help but reflect. Was all that stress, that worry, really worth it? So, I write this as an open letter to all those stressed grade 11s about to take upon the challenge of deciding their future, and to any other Hamber students who are also worried about university. Take my reflection with a grain of salt, as they reflect solely my experiences, but please do read it with an open mind. 

Starting the process for university applications, I felt I was already behind many of my peers. By the summer before grade 12, many of them already had the exact programs and schools they wanted to go to picked out and extensively researched, essay ideas brainstormed, and deadlines for scholarships and bursary applications marked onto a little color-coded calendar. As the time I spent hanging out with my friends started to fill with talk of applications, and programs, and all the statistics (too many numbers for my liking!), I scrambled to catch up. I too began researching programs, signed up for all the scholarship websites, and created a little color-coded calendar. I joined in the frenzied flurry of worries and doubts and stress that was beginning to create chaos amongst my friends, and soon, that was all I could think about. By the time grade 12 started, I was already losing sleep over what would come after. 

Photo Credit: Russ Heinl via Flickr

What if I don’t get into my top choice? What if I don’t get in anywhere? What if I’m simply not good enough? All those late night questions began to infiltrate my day-to-day life, and soon, everything became a reason to stress about university applications - from whether a 68 per cent on a Chemistry 12 quiz would tank my overall grade so low I didn’t get in somewhere, to if I was really doing enough in my extra-curricular activities to stand out from the thousands of my peers applying to the same program. I can confidently say in hindsight that the majority of my worries were unfounded, but at the time, each small stressor felt like a 25 pound brick being added to the ever-growing pile on my shoulders. So, being the over-achieving person I am, I decided that the best way to disperse those heavy worries was to add even more by doing even more.

This brings me to my next point - resume building. The feeling that one needs to stand out from everyone else on their applications fuels the drive to add more and more to their resume, and start to take on more and more responsibilities. I first noticed this being an extremely prevalent thing on the first clubs day of the school year. When I mentioned to some friends who go to a different high school than Hamber that we had over 60 clubs on our first clubs day, they were shocked. To be fair, so was I. 60 clubs? That felt excessive, especially since a lot of the clubs had the same purpose, and were all fairly identical. Now, I don’t know if I can truly be the first to cast stones, as if you were to take a look at my resume, you would see “head of Literature Club”, “director of STEM Sorority”, “project manager at the DHPLC”, and “CHST Council president” listed proudly near the top. I will admit that I used those positions of leadership in my university essays. However, I felt that amongst my peers, there was this urgent need to be able to have a position of leadership to talk about on applications– but with all the stress and time being dedicated to said applications, no effort was being put towards the actual clubs where the name of “club president” was held. I saw no passion amongst fellow club leaders, no initiative or drive to actually fulfill the commitments and claims of effort being put in those online questionnaires about extracurricular activities on the numerous application pages. So, I pose this question to all those reading, expecting no answer in return. Can one claim a leadership position if the reason they took it in the first place was to speak about it on applications? 

Another question I pose to you, the reader, is this. What is the reason you are worrying yourself to death over university applications? Why take on so many burdens? Again, I am guilty of falling prey to the mob mentality of stress when it came to these applications– believing that I had to put my entire life on hold and dedicate everything to a few 2,000 character essays that should perfectly encapsulate the best of me. I had stressed so much that I ended up thinking if I didn’t get into university, my life would be over. I convinced myself that obviously, if I was dedicating this much time and stress to these applications, they must be important. That was wrong of me to believe. There truly is no one path in life to become successful, and there is no absolute definition of success. The societal expectation that university is the clear next step after high school, and that without it, one would end up on the streets, is simply just wrong. A bachelor’s degree is not, and never will be, a guaranteed ticket to a good life.

The current cultural attitude to what happens after high school is one that places a lot of worry and stress on young shoulders. For some people, there still remains a belief that they must know all their life goals at 17 and have detailed 5, 10, and 15 year plans. In my opinion, this is wrong. I say this after speaking with many trusted adults in my life, most of whom told me, upon hearing that I was stressed about university, that they changed their goals and careers multiple times before settling into what they do now. No one should be expected to have a clear understanding of where their entire life is going after high school, and very rarely does one keep all the same values and beliefs they held as a teenager. The belief that the university program you choose upon applying, the university you end up going to for the first year, is the thing that will decide your entire life, is wrong. Nothing is set in stone, and nothing should be. 

It may be hard to keep all that I’ve written in mind as the looming shadow of university applications begins to darken your view, but if there is one message I hope you can take after reading my reflections, it’s this. In the end, your university applications don’t matter - not in the grand scheme of your life. That sounds bleak, but I hope that it can keep you from falling victim to the insane amounts of stress I did. There is no reason to keep your life on hold and stay up to 3 a.m. writing and rewriting 2,000 characters over and over, because those 2,000 characters do not define you. Your future is bright, and you will make the most out of life, but university is not the only way to do that.