OPINION: Let’s Talk About Sex (Education)
The views expressed in this article are the author’s alone. Responses or comments may be sent to ehnewspaper@gmail.com
Every student graduating from the public school system should have received a sexual education class at some point throughout their time in high school. While the education we receive regarding this subject is tolerable, it is in no way sufficient and does not address issues that many students will face or have already faced. Our system has failed to provide information that best suits the daily lives of 21st century teens. Educators must consider implementing these changes in order to guarantee that the lessons taught in classrooms best equips students for the realities of sex and all aspects encompassing it.
1. Consent: While consent is discussed in the majority of classrooms, it is not explained in a way that deals with real life practicalities. With forced scripts and “no equals no” lectures, the majority of teens leave those discussions believing consent is a one time thing, and verbally asking for it is a mood killer. In actuality, many things equal no and real life applications of consent can stray from the binary model students are taught. Neha Vyas, an intimacy coach, believes that consent works on a spectrum as it can travel from yes to no and back again. Depicting consent as simply black and white limits communication and can often lead to confusion. Schools need to delve deeper into this topic and help students reach an understanding of consent as a spectrum.
2. Emotional Aspect: Teenagers are always taught about staying physically safe while being sexually active but the emotional aspect of sex is rarely brought up in classrooms. Talks often focus on what not to do like getting pregnant or contracting an STD, so much so that the signs of a healthy relationship are completely forgotten. Sex educators like Guli Fager suggest that lessons branch out from physical safety to include topics like deciding if the time is right. While preventative measures are important, by overly concentrating on them, sex is depicted as something to fear and lessons don’t educate students on all aspects.
3. Birth Control: Birth control is discussed in classrooms, however, it is done in such a limited way that girls especially, feel tricked when they try to use contraceptives like hormone pills. Simply explaining what it does is not satisfactory when the medication is responsible for a plethora of side effects. Hormone pills are also used for numerous other health reasons besides sex. These uses should be included in lessons as well. Not only that, but the narrative of birth control is angled specifically towards girls. Schools need to start teaching young boys that sex safe is equally their responsibility. This narrative translates into bigger issues as men are completely ignored regarding the topic of birth control later on in life, leaving women with the sole burden of avoiding unwanted pregnancies. By starting these conversations early on, we can bridge this gap so men feel included and women feel less taxed.
4. Double Standard: Teens are no strangers to the double standard of sex. Especially since the language used in school halls perpetuates this standard. Dividing classrooms further instills that there are two different messages regarding sex. Language like “she lost her virginity” and “he scored last night” perfectly depict the very real double standard. It enables a sense of entitlement in young boys and can lead to further ramifications like the rise of gender based violence in post secondary institutions. Co-ed classes can reduce this double standard. Bonnie J. Rough, a renowned author and reporter, said in a Washington Post perspective article that co-ed classes allow peers to “hold one another accountable” as they will all be learning the same information about consent and other important issues. Therefore it will erase the two separate messages boys and girls receive regarding sex. These crucial lessons act as practice grounds for the type of communication students will be having in their daily life as Nicole Cushman, executive director of a sex ed program at Rutgers University said. In turn, it will decrease the amount of discrimination targeted specifically towards young women based on their sexual choices, or what many teens call “slut shaming.” Calling out the double standard surrounding sex will help create awareness around this issue and cut it off at its source.
5. Sexual Harassment: One would think that sexual harassment is an integral part of sexual education given that the it is bred out of a lack of understanding and education, but it is hardly ever mentioned. The current system fails to acknowledge that it is responsible for changing the narrative surrounding sexual harassment. Girls grow up learning about special safety precautions they need to take while young boys are kept in the dark and are rarely even given the opportunity to be included in these conversations. We need to start these discussions in the classroom to develop a sense of compassion to break the cycle of harassment. Our society is teaching future generations that it is a “women’s issue”. If we started these conversations at an earlier age, schools could start creating solutions to the statistic that “one in four woman experience sexual violence”.
6. LGBTQ+: The spectrum of sexuality and safe sex for non-heterosexual couples need to be included in sex ed classes. Our system and educators must address these topics with language that does not “other” those that belong to the community and provide tools for safe sex in the same ways that they do for heterosexual couples. Every student has a right to education regarding safe sex and all the topics surrounding it. This should not be ignored for same sex couples. The topic of sexuality is another necessity for sex ed classrooms as adolescence is an important time for figuring out one’s identity. Sexuality plays a key role in that. Our education needs to reflect the student population and all the communities that exist within that. Biases can often originate from classrooms and educators have the power to change that by using inclusive language and straying away from stereotypes. These classes especially must be a safe space for all teens.
Our education system holds the power to change the headlines we see in the news everyday. The system needs to change and it needs to change now. Let’s start talking about sex. In every which way.